Stop the Mommy Guilt: Birthday Parties

Mommy guilt, maybe you have experienced this before: Elaborate invitations, picking out a venue, choosing the right outfit, making sure the food is bought and that there is plenty, entertainment is booked, favors are bought and put together for your guests,  I could go on.

You’re thinking a wedding right?

Wrong.

Mommy guilt

This is preparation for a child’s birthday party.

Are you guilty of throwing one of these parties and you felt overwhelmed?

Mom’s today for some reason feel pressure to perform, maybe it’s Pinterest and social media.  I have attended my share of birthday parties where everyone is there having a great time, but the moms are working their tail off trying to make this the best party of the year, but what are they missing?

They are missing everything.

I am not judging those moms, but I feel sad for them because they are not able to enjoy this special day.

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated,  not made into an unreachable task every year that your child will most likely never remember.

So who are you really having parties for? Ask yourself, are they for you, your children, the friends, a social status?

If you can truly answer that you’re having parties for your children and you love all things creative and you truly get joy from throwing parties then you can stop reading here, but if you honestly answered for others then keep reading.

Either way there is no judgement here.  You can stop all mommy guilt now.

You have permission to stop feeling less than.

When I look back to my childhood I can only vaguely remember big two birthday parties. I had a pizza party once, and a huge party at my church with my friends ( I couldn’t tell you one person’s name at that party ).

Then I remember the rest of my birthday’s.

My other birthday’s were just small family get together’s going out to eat, and then having cake and ice cream at home. These are the parties I remember.

Nothing elaborate, but small and intimate.  No big present’s or giant cakes, just the people I love.

Just know that you are not judged, and if you are being judged you are inviting the wrong people to celebrate one of the most wonderful day’s that you as a mother have had. You are your child’s mother. You birthed, adopted,  became a step-parent, or became an interim parent for your child in some way, and that is to be celebrated.

But when did celebrating this life changing event become a show or an entitlement?

You do not have to feel the pressure to perform for your child, they love you no matter what you do for them. They appreciate your efforts.

If they don’t see those efforts then there is some life training that needs to take place first.

Children are not entitled to break our bank accounts, drain our energy, and cause unneeded stress. They are only entitled to our love.

So if you choose not to throw a party this year that resembles a wedding, or have a small intimate get-together you are still a good mom.

You are a good mom because you choose everyday to pour everything you have into your children.

Throw the guilt away.

When my children have asked in the past why we don’t throw parties I continue to remind them what is most important. They are surrounded by those who love them no matter what we choose to do. I might throw a party one day, or I might not.

No matter how you choose to celebrate, party or not, you are a great mom! Don’t let anything or anyone make you feel any different.

When you start to plan your next birthday party think about what matters most, then do that. Those parties will be the birthdays that will never be forgotten.

What will your kids remember? Figure that out and do it guilt free!