When you’re the mean girl

Are you a mean girl? Just think about that question for a moment.

Really think about it.

Are you a mean girl?

I am.

 

I am a self-professed mean girl. I see flaws, inadequacies, short-comings, bad hair, wrinkled skin, stretch marks, scars,  big thighs, ugly toes, you name it I see.

I am a mean girl.

If you have ever been in a group of friends and you hear someone talking about you, that’s me. I am thinking that whatever you are saying is stupid, how could anyone of these great people care about what you have to say. You make no sense, you have no story to tell, and I think your makeup is too thick.

I am a mean girl.

When you’re in the grocery store I’m the lady that looks into your cart and thinks”wow, no wonder you are 20 lbs overweight”.  I’m thinking your lazy, your kids are eating junk that’s why your son has ADHD because you can’t provide a diet free of sugars, gluten, organic, and red food dye…… I judge you when you pick up a diet coke at check out thinking that won’t help.

I am a mean girl.

I see you out and your kids are out-of-control. I ask myself “why did she have so many kids if she can’t control them?, her kids have no respect for her”. I feel sorry for her, but  she must have wanted them, so she got what she wanted, she can’t complain.  She must be a terrible mother, who would lose their temper like that and yell at her kids in public?  Who does that? Who lets her kids talk back to her like that?  Wow, her home must be terrible.

I am a mean girl.

I can’t believe how some women let themselves go? I see you and think “Did she comb her hair this morning, who dressed her?” I think you must not care what your husband thinks, I feel sorry for him. He has to look at you not caring like you did when you first met. How can you do that to him, it must embarrass him to be in public with you.  Do you simply not care?

I am a mean girl.

By now you must be thinking “wow, this lady is really shallow, and hurtful.”, but I am speaking truth.

I am a mean girl.

I am my own mean girl.

This is what runs through my mind about ME frequently.

The girl I was judging above was ME. I am guilty of saying these things about me, myself, and I. Deep inside my mind there is a voice that speaks these lies. I would never think this about any other woman, but I would myself.

Why is it okay to be our own mean girl?

As women we struggle with this mean girl mentality about ourselves. Where is the kindness and grace we have for others.

We simply do not have it for ourselves.

We have to change. We have to be kind to ourselves. We have to have GRACE for ourselves.

Instead of seeing our flaws we need to see our gifts.

We are someone’s very best friend, giver of life, provider, partner, mother, lover, and so much more.

Give yourself grace when all we can give is a box of mac-n-cheese for dinner, a fresh shower before our husbands arrive home,  a quiet moment in the car to breath and pray after all the kids have went inside , when all we see are the stretch marks from growing human life inside our bodies, when we haven’t gotten a haircut in a year because we have no money in the budget.

GRACE.

Tell the mean girl to “shut up”. Tell her to go away, you have no room for her in your life.

Tell her she is toxic, and you can’t have toxic people in your life.

Tell her you never want to see her again.

Tell her you are a child of GOD.

TELL HER.

She may try to creep back, but that’s when you remind her you are a great wife, mother, friend, and nothing she says will change that.

TELL HER TO GO TO HELL.

In all reality that’s where she came from.

Stand tall and know you are loved.  The bible speaks about our words having power in Proverbs.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat it’s fruits.” Proverbs 18:21

So what what words are you going to speak over your life?

I speak GRACE.